Understanding mental health
The 5 Stages of Grief: What to Expect
The 5 stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Learn what each can feel like, why they rarely go in order, and when to get support.
In this guide
To deal with loneliness, start small. Reach out to one person, add one regular social routine, and go easy on yourself about the feeling. Loneliness is common, and it often eases with steady, repeated contact.
If loneliness has started to weigh on your mood, individual therapy can help. Eye Cue Mental Health offers it in person in Cerritos and by telehealth across California.
The holidays can make loneliness louder, so this guide includes ideas for that season. We also cover why loneliness matters for health and when to ask for support.
How do you deal with loneliness?
You deal with loneliness by building small, regular points of contact, not by waiting to feel ready. The NHS suggests regular chats with friends and family, and says hearing a familiar voice can help.
These steps can make reaching out easier:
- Send one low-pressure message. "Saw this and thought of you" is enough to restart a thread.
- Make one plan with a date on it. A specific Tuesday walk beats "we should catch up."
- Join something that repeats. A class, choir, team, or volunteer shift puts you near the same faces each week.
- Share a little of how you feel. The NHS says talking openly about loneliness can help.
- Limit the scroll. The NHS notes that comparing yourself on social media can make you feel lonelier.
Expect some awkwardness at first. It doesn't mean you're bad at connecting. It usually means you're out of practice.
Be patient with the timeline. New friendships usually take many shared hours before they feel close, so keep showing up even when early meetups feel thin.
How common is loneliness?
Loneliness is very common. The CDC reports that about 1 in 3 U.S. adults feel lonely, and about 1 in 4 report not having social and emotional support.
The NHS points out that we can feel lonely in a busy city, online, or with other people. It also describes feeling alone in a room full of people you know. Young people aged 16 to 34 are one of the most at-risk groups, it adds.
So if you feel lonely despite a full calendar, you're not imagining it. Loneliness is about how connected you feel, not how many people are around.
What causes loneliness?
Loneliness often follows a change that cuts you off from people, even a happy change. The NHS names losing someone through a death or breakup as common triggers.
It also lists life changes that take you away from home or keep you inside. Examples include starting college, caring for a newborn, a long illness, or becoming a full-time carer.
Other causes are quieter. Friends move away, a job goes remote, or a relationship slowly empties out. The NHS notes that sometimes there's no obvious cause at all.
Loneliness can also change your habits. The NHS says you may avoid social events, stop cooking for yourself, or have trouble sleeping. Noticing those shifts early makes it easier to turn things around.
Why does loneliness affect your health?
Loneliness affects more than mood. The CDC links loneliness and social isolation to heart disease and stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression and anxiety, dementia, and earlier death.
A 2010 review in PLOS Medicine pooled 148 studies with more than 300,000 people. It found people with stronger social relationships had a 50% greater likelihood of survival over the study periods.
Take loneliness as seriously as other parts of your health. Reaching out counts, the same way sleep and checkups do.
Why do the holidays make loneliness worse?
The holidays put family and togetherness front and center, which can sharpen what's missing. The NHS notes some people feel lonely mainly at certain times, like Sundays or Christmas.
Cleveland Clinic says feeling isolated during the holidays can lead to grief and depression. That includes living far from family, having little family, or a recent loss.
Plan your holidays on purpose this year. Here are a few ideas:
- Host a small dinner for friends who aren't traveling home
- Volunteer on the day itself, which Cleveland Clinic says can help ease loneliness
- Schedule a video call with family who live far away
- Keep one simple ritual of your own, like a morning walk or a favorite meal
If family time is the hard part, read our guide on how to set boundaries before you go. If you're grieving this season, read what to expect from the stages of grief.
When is loneliness a sign of something more?
Loneliness can overlap with depression or anxiety, and each can make the other harder to shake. Social anxiety can also keep people home even when they want company.
Talk with a professional if loneliness comes with:
- Low mood most days for two weeks or more
- Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
- Strong fear of being judged that keeps you from going out
- Sleeping much more or less than usual
- Thoughts that people would be better off without you
The days get shorter this time of year too. If your mood dips every fall, read about seasonal depression symptoms.
If you're having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 any time. If you're in immediate danger, call 911.
Eye Cue Mental Health is a psychotherapy practice and does not prescribe medication. This article is educational and is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) any time. If you're in immediate danger, call 911.
